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For instance; My band played at this bar last weekend, and the waitress already knew me from the last time we played there. Right off the bat she was real happy to see me and every time our paths crossed she was touching me ( I didn't touch her back, though).
However she never got emotionally into what I said, I feel that all I did was give her a hard time. toward the end of the night when we were packing up, I was trying to get her to think it would be her idea to hang out at her place after we got done (another thing that is a problem for me... ??she thinks it's her idea??), but this never happened. I would very much like to see how all this works, but just can't seem to put it together. Can you please help me understand? |
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So let's say you're at the supermarket, then have openers like *Do you clean as well as cook?* while she's in the poultry section, for example. Then, whatever she replies, i.e. if she says *No*, then say, *Oh well, then it will never work between us* with a sly attitude.
Sometimes, you'll find there is nothing that happens to be PERFECTLY TAILORED for the situation, so for those situations, you'll use the UNIVERSAL openers, like for example a straight-from-the-hip no-b.s. *what's up*. |
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Think about it from her point of view and see what kind of solution you come up with. Also, use the strategies from the section on Basic Psychological Principles from the book, and work on your confidence treadmill. I think you'll realize a lot of benefit from using those strategies.
Next time, a suggestion: Don't ask her to get coffee. Assume she will. (Cocky!) TELL her, *You deserve a nice relaxing break after your shift. I'll tell you what - I'll put a smile on your face if you meet me for some coffee. I'll meet you at 9:00.* Don't give her a choice, or she'll choose the wrong one. Take control... and persist where it makes sense. If you think the boyfriend is real, I'd move on to more available talent. |
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